Does this black background make me look skinnier?

I hope so. I guess I need all the help I can get at this point.

I am 23. And I am at my all-time highest weight of my entire life, which is sadly at about 208 pounds. This is especially sad since I am only 5'3, so it is a pretty noticeable amount of fat.

I've haven't been really skinny or really even average weight since I was probably 8 years old. I can distinctly remember when my school pictures went from being adorable to a little bit scary. Throughout my teens and high school years my weight fluctuated between 160 and 180. I would kill to be back around 160, even though I still felt really fat back then and only slightly better than I feel now, almost fifty pounds heavier. Hell, even 180 sounds pretty good right now.

I guess I have kind of a weird body shape or I carry my weight differently, because despite having gained fifty pounds since my 160 days, I've only gone up two clothing sizes, which has made being in denial much easier. Back in the good old days, I wore a size 10, and now I am up to a size 14 at 208 pounds. During my freshman year of college, I actually managed to lose about 25 pounds and got down to about 140, and I wore a size 6. Sadly, that success was short-lived and I quickly shot back up to 180. I still think back to how I managed to lose that weight at a time when most people are gaining their freshman 15. I think it was a combination of walking to work, then working long hours as a retail slave at the Gap, where I would have 15 minutes to eat dinner, which was often just a granola bar. That schedule, coupled with an easy course load that allowed me to spend at least an hour working out every day, led to some pretty good weight loss results.

Sadly, that schedule is not really feasible for me anymore. Since graduating from college I have taken a job as a nanny to tide me over until graduate school in the fall. My charges are two adorable infants, but since they aren't really mobile yet, neither am I. When the weather was better I was able to take them out for nice long walks through the neighborhood, but now that this cold New England weather has settled upon us for a few months, the walks are much briefer and often non-existent. I spend the majority of my days sitting on the floor and playing with the babies, or changing their diapers and feeding them and putting them down for naps. So not much by way of exercise.

I get out of work at 5:30, and rarely have any motivation to hit the gym. I know I have to go to the gym, but I usually make excuses when it comes time to leave work, and once I am home in my apartment the inertia sets in and I can't find the motivation to leave.